001 - This is Me.

This Is Me:

Actually, that's the wrong way.  This is how I appeared in the reading: 

At least, for this reading this is me.  In case the picture isn't clear enough the woman in the tree is pissing into a pot.  Let's be clear: I've never been into golden shower games.  Although, honestly, the idea of a bull peeing on a woman, then screwing her has circled my brain for a story.  I personally have not experienced such a delight as getting pissed on by a bull.  Or peeing in a pot.  I have peed into a paper cup.  Once.  I was a kid.  We were stuck in a truck in a downpour.  There werent any other options.  One other thing: I'm not good with plants.  So me climbing a tree to piss in a pot would never happen.  I guess it's one of life's little experiences I'll be missing out on. 

Now I'm worried I will be missing out on this experience. 

Hmmm . . . wonder if the tree in the front yard is climbable.  Can I get into and out of it without the neighbors seeing?  Or the coyotes?  *Shudders*  Oh, the coyotes. 

Before I Start This Is A LIst of My Current Worries:

 1.  Bladder infection yesterday and today

2.  L'Imperatore wants wild bunny sex in the next 5 hours (Yes, we schedule it in.)

3. My latest fictional erotic conquest is Mark - an amputee with a penchant for erotic stories on tape

4. The bathtub is leaking again. 

5. I got paid on Friday, and it's all already gone.

6.  I just had two disgusting tasting sugar cookies

7. My sister is getting married and as of now I'm not invited.

8.  Mark's love is about to be kidnapped by The Others.

9.  Mark's love won't be kidnapped for another 3 chapters.  How the hell am I going to fill that space?

10.  Crap.  She gets kidnapped in only 3 chapters.  That's not enough space!

On With The Show!